1) Ok to ask a bride/groom if they have a registry? 2) What to do with bulky gifts for destination wedding?
I’ve had the good fortune of having all my guy friends remain bachelors into their mid-20s while enjoying life in Chicago. However, one of them has succumbed to marriage and will have a ball and chain come late March.
My aforementioned good fortune has also resulted in my inexperience when it comes to wedding etiquette. This is the first wedding I’ve been invited to (been to a few as a date) As such, I don’t know what’s proper when it comes to these things.
Specifically, my questions are these:
1) I want to buy the couple a gift and can’t find their names in any of the major registries. Would it be improper to ask them where they’re registered? Or is this perfectly ok?
2) This will be a destination wedding in Puerto Vallarta. If I happen to get them a bigger, bulkier gift, does this mean that I have to drag this gift all the way to Mexico with me? Or is there a way around this so that I can just give them the gift when they come back to the U.S.?
Thanks in advance
I was kidding with the "ball and chain" reference Rita :o) I’m happy for my buddy and his fiancee’s a good girl…they’ll be great.
Thanks so far for your answers, but here’s a FOLLOW UP QUESTION to some of your answers:
If I get them a gift card, how do I determine the appropriate amount?
All of your anwers have helped a lot thus far. Please keep them coming!
PLEASE READ!!
I think this question has been resolved. Thank you for all who’ve answered it, you’ve been very helpful. I will choose a Best Answer soon, however I’m leaving this open hoping some of you will see this:
I NOW HAVE A FOLLOWUP QUESTION WHICH I’VE POSTED SEPARATELY ON YAHOO ANSWERS. I would really appreciate it if any of you could help me with this new problem. To find my 2nd question quickly, just 1) click on my name; 2) At the bottom of my profile, click on the "Questions" tab; and 3) Click on my new question (I only have two questions in there)
Thanks again!
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Yes, it is proper for you to ask if they are registered.
However, wedding gifts are shoud NEVER be brought to the wedding or reception. They are supposed to be shipped to the bride and groom’s home, before or soon after the wedding. It is burdensome and a security hazard to bring gifts to the reception or wedding.
Money or gift cards would not be an appropriate gift, as these are friends of yours. Money is a gift that the older generation gifts to the younger, not something you give a peer.
Ball and Chain??? thats kinda rude…
Its ok to ask the couple if they are registered anywhere. Also if they are you can ask the store to ship the gift directly to them. Most places do this at no extra charge. Since its a destination wedding, I wouldnt carry anything bulky or big that you have to keep track of and that the bride and groom need to keep track of. Its easier to ship or give a gift card.
1 yes
2 do what u feel
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Ask them where they are registered. It is perfectly O.K.
DO NOT bring the gift to Mexico, (all sorts of customs issues)
Have the gift shipped directly to their house, or bring it there yourself, when you know they are home, before or after the wedding.
There is no problem asking if they are register!! Couples love the idesa that someone is lookng to get them exactly what they want or buy a gift card for the store they like to shop.(Gift cards are great too) If you buy something big from the registery it will give you the option to have the gift ship to there at home address!! As well as it is perfectly find to sends gifts to the couple up to six to eight weeks after the wedding!!!
Sure ask them or a close relative, Also have a bulky gifte shipped to the couples home have it arrive a few days after they get back At the wedding give them a nice card and let them know there gift will be arriving when they get home.
1. Yes, that’s perfectly acceptable.
2. Just tell them that you got them a bulky gift, and they will get it upon their return. Or you could give it to them in advance. No problem.
First of all, it is not proper etiquette to bring gifts to the wedding. The correct etiquette is to use the gift registries to purchase gifts for bridal showers or engagements. For a formal wedding an envelope with a check that at least covers your meal is the correct gift.
It is fine to ask them if they are registered anyware. As for transporting the gift… it is fine for you to deliver the gift anytime before the wedding to the bride’s house. Sometimes brides even display their gifts (a throwback to times gone by…) Don’t feel you have to bring the gift all the way to Mexico…you also have the option of giving them a gift after they return…just don’t wait too long.
Good luck
I have always found that couples are always happy to tell you where they are registered if it was not included in the invitation. Personally when it comes to destination weddings here are some ideas. 1) Send the present to their home before the wedding and a card at the wedding. 2) Give them a American Express gift card ( or a similar prepaid credit card). 3) Purchase them a small gift from Puerto Vallarta, something that is meaningful to them. 4) Take a camera along take lots of prewedding day pictures. Have them developed there put in a nice small photo album and then have another present sent to their home after the fact. 5) Choose a gift that you are planning on giving them take a picture of it and include it in the card at the wedding with a note telling that the real thing will be waiting for them when they get home. The main thing to remember is with travel after 9/11 packages are hard to get in and out of the country, no matter what the reason for them is. Also if everyone brings packages no matter how small the bride and groom will need to figure out how to get them back home. That could turn into some major money out of their pockets.
Asking someone where they are registered is perfectly fine!
Secondly, if you buy a bulky item, have it shipped to their home! I actually loved having lots of gifts shipped to my home rather than bringing htem to my wedding! My parents didn’t have to pack them all up that night either!
For the gift card thing, there is no set limit or amount, you give what you think is adequate! I have a set amount that I give for any wedding gift. If it is for my best friend or someone close, I give a little bit more towards the gift. But for the most part, I basically know how much I plan on spending. You have to determine that amount for yourself, based on your financial standings.
Asking where they are registered is completely acceptable. And if they are registered at a major department store, they will usually have a "ship to" option that allows you to purchase the bulky gift but have it sent to their home. Then when you go to the wedding, all you have to do is bring a card and write inside what you got them, or even cut out a picture of it and put it in the card.