My boyfriend’s not bringing me to his friend’s destination wedding. Why is this? It hurts me.?
I feel really left out because my boyfriend (serious) of 10 months isn’t bringing me to his friend’s destination wedding in Florida. I am friends with the bride and groom and the bride told me from the very beginning that I was of course invited. When my boyfriend talked to the groom however, he told him that pretty much guys weren’t bringing their girlfriends and they were all rooming together. So my boyfriend told me that and made his plans to not take me with him. At first I tried really hard to be understanding about this but I really feel left out and hurt that I’m not included in this fun event and special day. My question is, is it normal to not bring significant others if you are friends with the groom to a destination wedding? and why wouldn’t they want girls to come? Are they really going to be doing things that girls aren’t included in? The bride to be will be included of course and of course I would be hanging out with her and by myself. I am not trying to control or babysit him during this… Let me know what you think!
I do want to add that money is not the issue, her parents are paying and there is no budget… also I would be paying for my flight and share in the room. I am in no way getting a FREE vacation. 
Also, I have talked to him about this but it seems to me that he doesn’t feel like he can do anything… between a rock and hard place.
Well, I just had a talk with him and it turns out HE didn’t want me to go… not the groom. He said because he planned it so long ago he didn’t include me but he wouldn’t do that if he was planning it now. (He planned it when we were only together 3 months)
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double check that he is allowed to bring a guest and if he is then the whole situation sounds very suspicious to me. the fact that you were invited by the bride herself would point to the intention that he would be able to bring you, but the fact he is choosing not to is very off. if you couldn’t go b/c of work or didn’t have the money is one thing, but there is no reason you can’t room together and pay for it yourselves. unless he is in the wedding party, that would be the only reason that the couple wouldn’t want to pay for another room just for him. but even in that case he could split the cost with you instead. you need to talk to him and figure out what is going on. that can’t be the only reason he doesn’t want to bring you. it doesn’t make sense.
I think you should go on your own as a guest of the bride.
Nobody will know why, except for your boyfriend.
bachelors party - lots of other pussy to lick and fuck, and what happens there stays ther…lol youll be cheated on and youll never even know
maybe he wants to flirt with other girls or maybe they are going to a strip club later,,,,,
i dunno
but him not taking you means he wants to do something with u not around.
ya i find that pretty unfair as well! i mean it makes it sound like theyre having a bachelor party or somethin, i think you should talk to the bride and talk to her bout whut ur boyfriend told you, and ask why?
and then talk to your man tell him that it really hurts not bein invited when you WANNA go c the wedding…
Have you talked to him about this like this? I think it would be a really good idea. Make it very aware to him that he is very important to you and the bride wants you to be a part of it.
If all fails, go with another friend of the bride and groom to the wedding and board with her. He’ll come around!
Good Luck!!
Hang on a minute…You say the Bride invited you?? So why are you listening to your bf..
Just plan to go to the wedding on your own, just like he is…
If he says anything - tell him to talk to the Bride - who you are friends with, and who has invited you.
You can have your own room.
Nope you want to babysit him.10 months is not serious enough for him to pay your way to babysit him.Sorry
unless you have your own invite in your name you arent invited. be gracious and understanding and dont nag and absolutely make plans to be out of town on your own destination trip the same weekend and talk it up from now on how excited you are to do this.
trust me.
Did you notice in the question you wrote "his friend’s destination wedding" not your friend’s. I mean you did mention that you were friends with the bride and groom but it sounds like they are closer to him so they wouldn’t want to waste the money and things on you when you aren’t as close to them. But that’s just what I think.
I think this destination wedding probably has a destination Bachelor party and that is why all the guys don’t want to bring their women.
Little boys like to play games. This is the begining of more painful events that "he’s friends aren’t taking their girls." Sounds STUPID to me. Now fire him!!!!!
I would be really upset. If you were invited by the bride why is it your boyfriend’s choice for you not to come? Do you let him make decisions for you?
Honestly he is an AS* why would he not bring his girlfriend? Because his friends says so? So does he always listen to his friends? Does his world revolve around his friends? I just think he is up to something….lol
The bride was being polite when she said of course your invited too.
Do you expect him to pay for your way to Florida and for a room? And you have only been dating for 10 months?
If he really wanted you to go he would take you.
Um yes you are being controlling. 10 months does not entitle you to every moment of this poor guy’s life. It costs money to go to Florida and stay for a destination wedding and you expect him to pay that cost after 10 months of dating, serious or otherwise, that is a big expectation.
If he is going to his friend’s wedding and none of the guys are gonna bring their girlfriends why would you want to go if you do not want controll of what he does? Would you be ok to be by yourself while he has fun with his friends? I doubt it. You are just a girlfriend and not very long term in the scheme of things. There is no obligation for him to take you or for you to be invited. Get over yourself and wish him a good time. Significant others means married or cohabitating couples of long standing. dating for a few months does not qualify. They do not want the girls because each one would want her boyfriend to hang with her and not his friends. Wait untill you get a ring on your finger before you try putting a noose around his neck
A BIG red flag waving high & bright…..
If it were me, I’d let him go without a word….and let him find out the hard way that he’s ’single’ again when he gets back.
Whatever happens in FL, stays in… Well you get the picture.
At his time of year in FL, there’s lots of young gals out there to have fun with at the bars. If you’re there ( or the other girlfriends of the groomsmen ), you’ll just cramp their style.
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When the bride said that you’re invited, she may not have realized that none of the other guys were bringing dates. They may not have made that decision yet when spoke with her. While its unfortunate that you were told you were invited, unless you have an invitation with your name on it or his invitation says "and guest" then I’m sorry but you weren’t actually extended an invite.
Its not worth pushing it. This isn’t his decision, its the decision of the couple who is getting married. I know it stinks to be left out but it is what it is. Not only that, if you show up despite this, you will forever be known amongst his friends as "pushy" and it will create arguments with him. Not worth it! I would be very angry if someone to whom I did not extend a formal invite showed up. I would be angry with the person who showed up, and the person who brought them. Its not just a party, it is a wedding…. a formal event. Seating, meals, place cards, etc. are all planned around the guest list. Showing up would reflect badly on the both of you.
Do you have any idea how much money it costs a bride and groom per person? My per person cost was $150. The only people who were invited with guests were people who were married (plus the best mans girlfriend of 6 years). Coworkers and cousins were invited as single people, again unless married. We wanted to keep it small and intimate and inviting the dates of everyone was not an option.
I’m sorry but you need to accept the situation and not give him a hard time. This is not his decision, and you shouldn’t whine about it to him because no good will come of it. Make some other plans for the weekend and just let it go…
EDIT: You added "I have talked to him about this but it seems to me that he doesn’t feel like he can do anything… between a rock and hard place." If that is the case then there is NOTHING he can do about it so there is no reason to give him a hard time or whine about it. Bottom line is you can’t go to the wedding. I’m sorry. I know it stinks but that is the way it is. Do not make this into a bigger problem than it is. He cannot do anything about it. It is not his place to invite you if the bride and the groom didn’t. Don’t make him ask them. It will make him look like a jerk and it will make you look even worse. Trust me, it is not worth it
You also added that her parents are paying for it and "there is no budget". That is simply nonsense! There is ALWAYS a budget and a place to draw the line. Did you consider that if they invite you, they have to invite ALL the guys girlfriends and as your boyfriend told you, they are not doing that. Whether it be finances, or the size of the venue, or just the fact they don’t want to keep adding people… the reason doesn’t matter to you and it isn’t your concern. You cannot change this.
I’m sorry to be blunt, but it is not your wedding so it is not your decision. You’re making this a bigger issue than it needs to be.
Sorry but he is going by himself to go trolling. Weddings are for couples unless you don’t have someone and are looking. This is your big old red flag.
A couple things to think about:
1. Were you independently invited to the wedding? In other words, was the invite addressed to both of you with both of your names? Or was the invite addressed to him "and Guest"? If it is the former, then you have every right to go to the wedding and he isn’t really allowed to "choose" whether or not to bring you. You are an invited guest and that isn’t his choice. So when he says "he doesn’t feel like he can do anything ….between a rock and hard place" I’m not sure what he means….does he mean that he doesn’t know how to RSVP for you now? Or does he mean that he doesn’t know how to make new hotel arrangements? Seriously, if you’re willing to let him have his guy time and you’re willing to pay your own way and you received an invite…..then, well, there isn’t anything for him to really "do" about this in the first place. Just let the bride know that you’re coming and buy yourself a plane ticket.
2. When the groom told your BF that "pretty much guys weren’t bringing their girlfriends" it doesn’t mean that the guys didn’t want the girls to come. It may have been that the girls didn’t want to come or that they thought it was too expensive or whatever. Just because the guys aren’t bringing their girlfriends doesn’t mean that there are things that the girls aren’t included in — it probably just means that a few of the guys’ girlfriends weren’t interested in going and so the others decided to make it a guys’ weekend rather than have a couple guys feel like the third wheel. Unless the other girlfriends are upset as well, it was probably a situation where the girlfriends weren’t all that interested (maybe they weren’t as close to the bride as you are) and so it wasn’t a big deal to them.
The big question: Was there an invitation? I mean one on paper, that came in an envelope. If there was, but your name wasn’t on it, then you’re not invited. If your boyfriend’s invitation came with "and guest" on it, then he gets to choose whether or not you’re invited. When it comes to weddings, verbal invites aren’t really official unless the person being invited is in the wedding party and it’s understood that they will be coming (although it’s more polite to send an official invitation to a bridesmaid or groomsman anyway.)
If his invitation had only his name on it, then he didn’t get to decide if you were invited or not and you should let him off the hook. If your name is on the invite or he won’t let you SEE the invitation, then you need to just dump the guy, because he’s being a devious prat. If he got a plus-one and he won’t bring you, then you need to decide if this is worth staying with him over.
If you are friends with the bride (if you see her socially without being in couples, like if you go out just you two girls) then call her up and wish her all the best - maybe you can get a clarification without asking outright, "Aren’t I invited to your wedding???"
You haven’t been together long enough for him to want to include you.